Turning Not Enough Into Enough and More!

"Keeping up with the Jones'" has never been more difficult with the revolution of social media. Before the days of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest you could only compare with what you saw driving through neighborhoods or visiting friends but now with social media instantly at your fingertips there are so many new ways to peer through people's windows. The thing some people tend to forget is social media gives us the ability to control what people see so we have the ability to show only what we want to be seen.

So what happens with all this very specific social media? We begin to judge. We judge others and we judge ourselves. It can leave you feeling jealous, depressed, and inferior. Suddenly you become "that girl". I know you know who I mean, "The Hater". We begin to put others down for what they have in an attempt to make ourselves feel better for what we don't have. We focus on not having enough rather than on the abundance we do have.

I could feel my jealousy and resentment building up in me and I didn't know what to do. I mean, I knew it wasn't healthy and that people make things appear as they want people to see if but I couldn't help myself. I kept thinking if only I had a nicer house, better furniture, a new car, trendier clothes, went on exciting vacations, had monthly salon visits, treated myself to finer things in life then I would be happy. I wanted a life that wasn't mine so badly that I was missing out on the life that I had and it made me sad. So I made a decision to change my mindset.

Changing your mindset is no easy feat. It takes a lot of hard work, consistency and motivation. I can say that I found it easier to lose 50 pounds than I did to change my mind to that of gratitude rather than ingratitude. I did my research, reached out to my community and started on my journey.

First thing I needed was a journal. So I went out and bought myself a pretty journal and every single day I write at least 3 things I am grateful for. Originally I thought they had to be super profound like I am grateful for my children, food in my belly, my health...you get the picture. But then you reach a stalemate. By day 3 I was out of big things to be grateful for but then I realized I had lots of things I had been grateful for that, while not big, I was still grateful for. So then I started writing down anything that I was grateful for. Holy cow!!! When you make that change, your list is literally unending. Today the weather here in Buffalo is a whiteout storm. old me would've complained about it the fact I had to go to work today. Why can't I be a stay at home mom? Why can't I just call in and not worry about it? Why can't I be on vacation somewhere warm like I see my friends on Facebook are? New me decided to write down I was grateful for my hot coffee while I sit in my office watching the snow swirl about. I'm grateful for the space heater under my desk that's keeping my tootsies toasty! I'm grateful that I have a job that I can do from my dining room table if the weather gets any worse.

Second I need to focus on the things that really matter to me. Does a chandelier in my dining room really matter to me or does having enough food to put on my table to feed our family of 6 matter? Does being on a tropical vacation really matter to me or does making memories with my family wherever we are matter? Does having the body of a Victoria Secret's model matter to me or does having the body of a strong, healthy women who can care for her kids, love her husband and own her life matter to me? So I made a list of what REALLY mattered to me and began to investigate it. Did I have those things? Was I honoring them? If not, what could I do to change that?

Third I gave myself space to dream, plan and make goals without letting my desires for the future impede my ability to enjoy the present. It's ok that I want to do upgrades on my house but I don't let that take away from what I currently love about my house. It's a building I have fought hard to make my home and my family and I have made a million happy memories in it. So rather than focus on the fact that I want to refinish the hardwood floors and put up new siding I think about the games we have played on that floor, the slumber parties that have happened there and all of the hard work my hubby put into painting that house before our son was born. Perspective is everything.

I still have to remind myself sometimes to live in gratitude but having the tools I do makes it much easier now than when I started. I find gratitude in my ability to give myself grace and in the fact that I can change my perspective and find the good in a situation I would have let put me in a funk before. My decision to focus on what I have rather than what I don't has made my life richer. A life I used to wish away before is now I life I love living and find purpose in sharing every single day.

So don't let someone's highlight reel be the measure of your life's happiness or worth. Remember to someone out there your highlight reel is something they dream of having! Do you want more info on how you can live in gratitude? Then join me over in my free community Strong Women Society where we are going to spend 5 days working on gratitude and living in your purpose. Isn't it time you loved the life you live??